I'm still searching....

"I haven't been waiting for anything"

June Second

This morning we walked outside, 

And the street was covered in freshly fallen jacaranda petals; 

A blanket of floppy purple snow.

I complained.

"We wait all year for these flowers

and they're gone in a week"

"Hmm," she said 

crushing wilted purple blossoms with her shoes.

"Hmm what?"

"I haven't been waiting for anything".

But she has.

I know it.

-Misha Collins

Los Angeles, California

:D

Haven't posted since last year...

So I'm back! Xmas with the family was great. My aunt cooked an amazing dinner and there was tons and tons of drinking involved! It's always fun hanging around my dad and his brothers and sisters listening to stories from their childhood. No Xmas present for me under the tree though.. well that's not completely true! My parents did give me some money and asked me like a zillion times what I wanted for Xmas. And as cliché as it sounds I really didn't feel like I needed something.

The next day it was goodbye chilly weather, hello sunny beach! Though the road wasn't that smooth! We had a flat tire and had some trouble with the car. But after almost 4 hours we arrived! 

It was a VERY relaxing week. I read three books while sunbathing! I read: Eat, Pray, Love (well I finished it actually but it was more than half a book so it still counts!), Dry: a memoir by Augusten Burroughs (very deep book! highly recommended! though you need to read "Running with scissors" first) and If I stay.

New Year's Eve was ok I guess. I spent it with my family and even though I wanted to party my ass off I had to spend it with all my relatives. Which is ok I guess.. there's always next year!

So that's all I guess.. a little something about what I did this past week. How was your Xmas eve and New Year's eve?

All I want for Christmas is YOU

So today I went Christmas shopping and found the perfect gift for myself. Yes I know that it sounds a bit pathetic but the fact is that ever since I found out that SPOILER Santa doesn't exist, my parents have been giving me money so I can buy my presents. So today I was decided to shop like a maniac but as it always goes when you finally have some money I couldn't find anything worth spending! I did find a couple of things though.. like the CH Carolina Herrera perfum! It smells amazing! I'm definitely buying it. Also I found some really cool boots. They're brown and kind of rough almost like boyfriend boots you know? Brown leather but all worn out. It was love at first sight! But they're really expensive so I'm not sure.

But no matter what you get for Christmas it's all about spending time with you family. I love this time a year! Every year we swap and spend the night with my mother's family and the next one with my father's. This year it's my father's turn! I can't wait. 

After that we are going camping! It's a family tradition. I've been going camping every year before Christmas my entire life! Even before I was born my mother went while being pregnant so it's kind of a big deal.

So what are you getting for Christmas?

Tune of the day

It's been a couple of days since my last "Tune of the day" post. Anyway this song is called "When U love somebody" by Fruit Bats. It's a bit old but one of my favorites. I love the part when they sing: "When U love somebody and bite your tongue all you get is a mouthful of blood". I completely agree with this. And talking with experience it's way better to come clean about your feelings with the person you like. It's NOT easy but life is way too short to be living with doubts!

When you're DREAMING with a broken heart

Dreams. They can be really bizarre sometimes! I'm constantly dreaming, it's very rare not to have one every night. I love having them and then waking up and trying to figure out what they mean. They say dreams are an exact reflection of what we really want, it's our subconscious telling us what we really crave and desire. 

So last night was no exception. The minute I closed my eyes my mind started to drift around and dream. In my dream I was in college, but it wasn't my normal college. I guess I wasn't in Mexico because everyone spoke in english with a british accent. So as I was saying I was in some sort of college in a class room all by myself. In front of me there was a professor. He looked quite young. I don't remember what class he gave or what the heck I was doing there alone. I just remember that he told me something like: "You're a very lucky girl Anais, now go on and enjoy".

As I was leaving the room I remember I turned back and told him: "I don't know what I'm supposed to do" and he just smiled and continued working saying "Oh no, believe me you know!". I opened the door and as I was closing it I heard a voice asking me how did all go. I looked up and I didn't recognize who it was. But apparently the guy knew me cuz he quickly hugged me and gave me a kiss. 

Then everything is a bit of a blur. I remember we went to a party in one of the dorms. I think my sister was there too with her boyfriend. Though I don't remember exactly what happen, except the first part of the dream, I remember perfectly some feelings I experienced. Throughout the dream I felt very safe and incredibly happy. I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. 

I woke up with a smile on my face. I cherish this kind of dreams because I know deep down that they mean something. I try to learn from them because I know that it's my own mind telling me what I need. 

I have lots and lots of dreams to tell you guys about!